"A Defense of Poesy"

One of the disadvantages of being the youngest child in the family for seven years of your life is that, in many cases, you're the last to learn how to do something. Before I started grade school, I wanted to learn to read so bad. I didn't understand why a pharmacy would hang a huge sign that said "24 horse," or why our SHARP TV would tell us to "shut up."

This one time when I was just four and a few months old, I was alone watching that same TV set when a commercial for Hooked on Phonics came on. They sell books and, I think, cassettes that teach children how to read. I can remember how excited I was seeing those kids read with their books and phony smiles. Heck, I still remember the number I dialed to order it when I just couldn't wait till my parents got home: 1-800-ABCDEFG. Of course, the lady on the other end asked me my age and then told me I had to get an adult to call.

We never ordered those books, but it wasn't too long that I was able to read my first book with chapters: Dear Mr. Henshaw. I grew up reading various kinds of books, a few in Arabic but mostly in English. Reading books of fiction provided escapism for me as a teenager (although, I'd say music was my ultimate getaway). It doesn't come as a surprise that I chose to major in English literature after finishing high school (English literature and linguistics, to be precise).

It was during my college years that I truly began to understand my fascination with reading literature. It was no longer just a fun hobby and an indulgence of a girl with an eager sense of imagination, but I began to see that it is an active and continuous process of understanding, interpreting and evaluating fundamental issues about yourself and the life that surrounds you, as fiction creates space for the reader to view life from different angles. I began to understand the importance of studying it, for literature as a discipline encompasses various studies, i.e philosophy, psychology, sociology, history, politics, race, gender... you name it.

While what I learned concerning these studies is invaluable, I am most appreciative of what I've learned about myself. In literature I found an articulation of all the thoughts I had that I didn't know had words for. At the top of my head, one of the important texts that really contributed in shaping who I am is Emerson's "Self-Reliance," and his talk about the importance of individuality. As a sort of passive teenage rebel, I loved this quote he says: "Society is a joint-stock company [...] The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion." Emerson tells it!

I now have an MA in English literature and I plan to continue to study in the near future inshallah, and many times I get a confused response from people when I tell them my major. I know there are those who are not exposed enough or who simply lack depth to understand the point of it all, but the number of times I've met with that weirded out face confounds me.

Book I'm reading: To the Lighthouse by, currently my biggest girl crush, Virginia Woolf

Song I'm listening to: Take you on a cruise - Interpol (a band I can never ever get sick of)